Man, it’s been a busy one, kids.
I started the weekend off by going on this retreat for a non-profit that I work with and I was already a little anxious about it. The personalities involved with this group can be a bit…challenging at times. And it was challenging a lot of the time. But there were also plenty of people there that I really enjoy spending time with – including two of my best friends ever – so that really kind of offset some of the bad. Plus, one of those best friends and I had a chance to have one of our patented Deep Talks™ that somehow managed to help me more than I think it helped him.
We talked about expectations and about how you can’t expect someone else to read your mind and know exactly how you’re feeling – even if that person is supposed to know you better than anyone else. I fall into this trap a lot and create mini-narratives in my head about how things are “supposed” to go…and of course they never do. Why don’t they? Because life isn’t a soap opera or a sitcom and people live their own lives. And because they live their own lives, I should live my own life. That doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be concerned with other people at all, just that the weight that I give other people’s actions needs to be less than what I’m currently giving them. I can do me, they can do them and that’s totally fine. Anything more than that deserves a conversation.
When I got back from said retreat, I binged the new Netflix show Dear White People. I’m still processing a lot of it (having only finished it literally 10 minutes ago) but I think I liked it. It turned me off initially because I think they try a bit too hard to be “with it” by using terms and slang that I don’t think would be used so freely in some of those contexts, but then again, I’m not a part of that community at all, so I’m certainly no authority. I’m also a little torn about creating a show for entertainment that uses important issues like police brutality and affirmative action as plot devices. True, they can be conversation starters, but what good is conversation without action? I’m just as guilty of that as anyone – after all, I’m just firing off these pointless words into the void without any real measure of action as well – but something about the way this was presented is just not sitting 100% right with me.
There were other dramatic plotlines, too: love triangles, secret deals, a coming-out story; combining those with the other racially-charged plot points just felt almost…trivializing. I’m probably overanalyzing this, but since I’m coming from a place of privilege, I was really hoping to be pushed to a place of discomfort by this. I was hoping to feel inspired and rallied, but I mostly want to see what is going to happen next in Season 2 and that just seems counterintuitive to me.
Anyway, another week is starting up and I usually don’t like it when my weekends are so busy that I don’t really get some rest, but I feel oddly…charged. I think I’m going to chalk that up to being able to spend time with some people that I really enjoy, which is probably a good lesson for me: it might seem like being lazy all weekend helps you to relax and unwind, but the same thing can be achieved if you can find the right people.