Back to life, back to reality

The last few weeks have been a blur of ups and downs and I don’t even know where to begin.

This month has been so busy with things that I had both planned for and things that popped up at the last moment. I’m trying to do better at adjusting to last-minute plans and changes to existing plans, but it’s not easy for me, kids. My entire life is a plan, my comfort is in routine – mess with that at your peril.

And yet, I’ve had a lot of fun over the last few weeks and it would be silly of me to ignore that. It’s easy for me to succumb to my exhaustion (caused largely by fun nights out that are also late nights out) and say that I had too much going on, but the truth is that in the moment, I was having fun. And that’s what matters.

Let’s see if I can recap this quickly and safely:

  • I went to a comics convention in my hometown of Charlotte, NC to represent the queer community in nerdy spaces. It was immensely fulfilling to see people’s faces light up when they saw us there and I desperately want to do something like that again. Of course, I’d like to avoid repeating my co-worker breaking his foot after the first day and spending 6 hours in the emergency room. I love that guy, but spending the rest of the weekend taking care of him was not my idea of a good time.
  • Work has been…a lot lately. I’m struggling with the idea that I don’t have to be an expert in everything that I do or the best person to answer every question. I’m coming from a previous job where I knew all the answers and was very comfortable with that and now I’m having to learn how to just be a cog in the wheel again…and that’s difficult for me. In some ways, it’s freeing not having all that responsibility but my work ethic pushes me really hard to be the best all of the time, so it’s a real challenge to adapt that to something else.
  • PRIDE. Lord help me, NYC Pride. What a chaotic mess. Other (smaller) prides that I’ve been to have been smaller and much more manageable, but I really had no direction when it came to NYC Pride. It’s all just so overwhelming. One of my best friends from DC came up and definitely made the weekend for me. Without him, I fear what would have become of me. Much of my feelings about pride are mentioned in my previous post about DC Pride, so I won’t rehash them here. But suffice it to say that I was left with a few hangovers, some sunburn and a lot of good memories.

And so here we are on the other side of that, with no real signs that things are gonna slow down anytime soon. While I like the fact that there isn’t a lot of time for me to sit around and think too much, I’m starting to feel like I could really use a vacation right about now. Or at least a nap.


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